yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
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