The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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