I need help removing her.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
