i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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