I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
