Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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