Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
