The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
