Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
