We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
