she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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