She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
