We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
