is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
