is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Randomize
