Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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