____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Are my feet made of real feet?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
