if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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