I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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