Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
