He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
