I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
