New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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