somebody snuck up and got me drunk
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
