it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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