THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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