K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
