no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
