Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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