wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
she told me i tasted like america
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
