I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
