Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
