I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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