hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
