We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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