i jhust puked up my retainher.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
