Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
