They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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