Hey man sorry I got all grabby
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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