If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Alive.
So much puke
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
