"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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