he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
