So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
