she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
