It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
