Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
