ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
