I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
