If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
