Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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