Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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