hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
