but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
