i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
