the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
