Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
