We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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